After sleeping through my alarm, being unable to get taxi without a 45 minute wait, getting on the wrong tram going in the right direction, then getting on the right metro going in the wrong direction, nearly getting into a fist fight with the rudest woman in the world in the KLM check in queue and surprise, surprise, missing my scheduled 10am flight, I finally made it to Helsinki.

Ok, I haven’t made it yet – still sitting in a café at Schiphol waiting to board my 1pm flight (40 euro change fee). But I feel that everything that could go wrong, has already, so surely I will be there soon. Of course the Dutch branch of American Express Travel apparently have no connection of ANY kind to the US branch, so I am unable to contact the company who were organized to collect me from Helsinki Airport and take me to the hotel (in the style to which I am accustomed) , so… life is totally sucking atm.

What is it about travel that has to be so degrading, difficult and at the end of the day leaves you feeling demoralized and in need of a 2 hour shower? I personally blame low-cost carriers like Easy Jet, Ryan Air (hot name), Jet Blue, et al. Enabling the great unwashed masses to take to the air has made flying the equivalent of a greyhound bus trip. People who have NO idea about social etiquette, how to stand in a queue without annoying everyone in a 50m radius, how to pack a suitcase properly, how to go through airport security in the least amount of drama possible, how to control their 12 children, are now clogging up and slowing the system to a standstill.

I know what needs to happen, I need to start flying business class and have memberships to the airport business lounges. But I just wonder how everyone else copes? Doesn’t everyone hate it as much as I do? Why don’t airlines and airports do something about it?

[6 hours later]

Hooray. I did eventually make it to Helsinki. I didn’t have anyone meeting me at the airport, but that was ok because the taxis are fancy enough here. Except if you are unlucky enough to get the 1 Toyota stationwagon taxi in all of Europe. Uh huh - nice to meet you.

So a short glamour-free ride across town, I made it to the hotel, which – surprise, surprise - did not have a reservation for me. Well, it did, but apparently I’m not supposed to be here until the weekend. Honestly, has anyone ever had good service from American Express? Is there anything they can’t f*ck up?

Naturally, every hotel/motel/caravan park Helsinki is booked solid because of the conference, but thankfully the helpful receptionist at the (surprisingly classy) Holiday Inn rang around and I now have a rather nice executive suit in another H.I. on the other side of town from the conference. Tomorrow I will be checking in at the original hotel, so I guess one night here won’t kill me.

Tonights room:
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Worlds most embarrasing conference bag:
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Off to gym/eat/drink now…

R.

Ps. First impressions of helsinki: trees are annoyingly straight and people say “hi hi” instead of hello. Um, grow up?