…but I have realised something this week. [Sidebar: Talk about a period of self-discovery/indulgence]

Firstly, I think one of the reasons I like having this blog as it allowes me to communicate with everyone… and noone. I know people are reading (>50 people a day somehow), yet I really dont write it with anyone in particular in mind. Maybe my parents are reading, maybe theyre not. Maybe my ex's, maybe my best frieds, maybe my employer. But strangely, I don't write it for any of them, yet I enjoy doing it and I guess wouldnt be doing it at all if I knew noone was reading.

Secondly, one of my favourite past-times, if you can call it that, is to be on a crouded dancefloor, with tonnes of people, where I don't know anyone. Again, I'm glad the people are there, but I'm (usually) not fussed about interacting with them directly. I wouldn't be there if the people weren't there, but really most of the time I don't want to actually talk to any of them. Episodes of drug and/or alcohol abuse are obvious exceptions, during which I want to interact and talk with everyone.

But I have been on dancefloors in many different cities now, places where I belong, dont belong, speak or don't speak the language. There is something about the feeling of just being around hundreds or thousands of other people who have NO idea who i am, and for the most part don't care, is comforting. Strangely, in all that noise and bumping and cruising, I often have some great 'thinking' time, again… not always due to substance abuse, but more to do with blocking everything out in my head and more or less observing, whilst being smack-bang in the middle of it all. Or on a good night, high above it all on a spot-lit podium. 

And finall, for years now I have done excercise where I am techinically around other people, which I guess I like. However for the reason of either being under water, or in the case of gym or running, having earphones firmly squished into my ear canals, I do not have to listen or talk to anyone for the majority of the session.

This is me… what does it mean. Clearly I'm some kind of social lepper. But maybe there's something else here.

Hmmm.