Sidebar: Starting a new blog posting category today – feel free to join in – I know you’re all as bitter and jaded as I am. Even though I’m all about freedom of expression and individualism and puppies and rainbows and Care Bears, there are some things in this life that really get up my goat. This category is where I blog them and move on with my (bitter and jaded) life.

People To Hate: Rollerbladers

Not the occasional, go-to-the-park-and-mess-around type of rollerblader, I mean the person who still thinks rollerblading is in any way a socially acceptable, practical or hip means of transportation. They were stupid and embarrassing in the 90’s and they most certainly have not improved since.

Here are my main problems:

  • They allow fat and totally unfit people move quickly, a privilege they clearly do not deserve
  • They make short people unfairly taller, thus explaining why lot of men with Short Man Syndrome are also rollerbladers. You’re short, deal with it.
  • That stupid arm-swinging movement that people do when they going fast – like they are an Olympic speed skater – omg GET over yourself.
  • All that safety gear. Please… youre more likely to be injured from a baseball bat, swung by me.
  • They are basically repackaged, rebranded, remarketed, 80’s style rollerskates. Which I loved as teenager, but because they weren’t “cool” like rollerblades were, caused me to be subject of much taunting and mockery.
  • These stupid little witches hats – how is that even a challenge? Stop taking up so much room in the Vondel Park you idiots.

*Sigh* – it feels good to vent.