r v l . c o m

After several weeks of impatient waiting, my new teeth whitening system was today ready for collection. I even agreed to a 7:40am dental appointment, just to avoid having to wait any longer.

Thankfully, this time the dentist allowed me to keep the plaster mould they took of my teeth, lovingly pictured above. It’s actually quite weird holding an exact replica of part of my anatomy, well, from above the waist-line anyway.

I don’t know if I should name them, I think they are going to become my new best friend, so I probably should. Troublingly, it appears they have already picked up a few of my bad habits…

The name of this whitening kit is: Opalescence!

If there is a more glamorous product name in the English language, I am yet to meet it. Even if I was toothless I would buy this product for the name alone.

Actually… Opalescence van Laar - has quite a ring to it wouldn’t you say? Adding this to my list of approved baby names.

Back to matters at hand, namely the chemical bleaching of body parts in the name of blatant vanity, here is the obligatory ‘Before’ shot. You will probably need a pair of sunglasses or a piece of cardboard with a pinhole handy when I post the ‘After’.

And people ask why I’m single…!