Now I am not normally one to be overly patriotic, I leave that to the Dutch and the Americans. But two times in the last six months now I have met someone, CLEARLY not Australian, but pretending to be for all they are worth. Could this be more annoying?

Firstly there was the “adult film star” who despite being the most european-looking individual on the face of the planet, insisted that because he had an Australian passport, which he reminded me about 300 times, this made him in fact, Australian. Technically he was right, ok, actually he was right. But when I pressed him where his family was from originally, and he constantly responded “ah, I’m Australian” I got really pissed. “So you’re aboriginal are you?” I said, glacing at his blonde hair and skin that would burst out in melanomas the second he stepped into the sun. I know, I should have just left it and changed the conversation to something like hair product or protein bars, but thast not really my style these days is it.

Anyway, nice one mate.

The second person I will leave anonymous for the time being, but suffice to say that they are actually making me embarrased to be from the same country they are PRETENDING to be from. This person walks around calling people “mate” and “love”, in a professional environment, will not shut up about sharks and crocodiles, diving on the barrier reef, the glamour and style of Sydney, etc etc… and I recently found out he has only lived in Australia for a few years, after emmigrating from South Africa!!!

I welcome everyone to experience the country, move there, work there, whatever. But when people are so artificial about their identity and mannerisms, its just wrong.

Now where are my clogs.